Initially...

I woke up
after an hour of sleep, and
breathe the boredom imbued me.

I danced in the living room;
turned on the light and turned it off again;
roved in the dimness till disoriented.

My mind was crystal clear;
      everything could be put off;
as I felt
            a total freedom.

Can someone please crash my computer? I really need to get away from my work for a few days.... I am overworked and underpaid like practically every criminal in the TV series ''Criminal Minds''.

Well, I guess I am only whining. I am actually not that overworked compared to my second biggest boss. For one thing, she sleeps 3-5 hours a day on average. Moreover, before deadlines, she can stay awake for a day or two straight! What a superwoman! Every time I see her, I feel guilty about wanting to take a break. I should be more energetic, and not the other way around! Despite the guilt that I felt I am feeling mentally tired to do anything, including those things I really liked such as ballet, learning Japanese, reading comic books, or even watching baseball games. I just have no strength to pull the cart anymore.

I thought about taking a few days off of work, and called my supervisor, who is also a superwoman. I bagged for two weeks off, but she said,'' Please hang on for a few more days; You can not rest just now! '' Obviously, there is a major transformation going on in the newspaper company that I work for- the administration is implementing more issues, making the newspaper published on Saturdays and Sundays, too. This is not the time for me to relax. I guess I really need to bite down and accept the life I currently have.

Insomnia again.
I am really sick of not being able to sleep until I am really really rea~~lly tired. It seems as that I forgot how to sleep! It has nothing to do with my work, I know- it is only an excuse. There must be something I have to fix immediately, about me, my life and my heart.

小孩要什麼？
學校要給什麼？
校友能做什麼？
校友會要幹什麼？

不要忘記問自己問題！理解從問問題開始。
一面問，一面解答，提出意見。加油吧！奔向美好康莊大道（咳）！

Just as we spoke, a part of me flew away and
dwelled in your epiphysis cerebri
to see
          what you can see
                                        through your greyish blue eyes.

Today I watched ''The Criminal Minds'', of which the screenwriter quotes from renowned writers and philosophers in the beginning of each story, quoted Nietzsche's words,'' The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.'' I usually ignore the quotes, but today’s quotes flawlessly fits one of my concerns which kept me awake the other night-

One day, the school principal of my high school said to one of the graduated, also one of his favorite'' The students here are becoming more and more 'mediocre', and it’s getting worse. They are not as good as the old students.'' I felt perplexed because on one hand, I was one of the students who to be complimented for I was one of the earliest students; on the other hand, I totally understood how the students felt when they heard that comments- they are never going to be those who are applauded; they are chasing a visionary goal; the goal is so visionary and is never around, that can never be reached.

It is certainly true that kids are most responsible for not working hard enough, for wanting to play video games rather than reading books and being a philosopher in any aspect of their lives; I am just saying that the school principal should never say ''Students are becoming mediocre,'' act like an almighty, and walk away as he is not responsible for all this, because kids are going to believe him, and feel that is all their fault unless they are smart enough to draw the principal back as a part of the school.

Every one wants to be special; every one wants to be the one who can change the world, even if just a bit that only oneself notices. I certainly understand how the students felt frustrated because I was one of them, I was there, I was the one who had to struggle to prevent from swallowed by the group, too! And now, the school has come this far, are the students to be blamed? Does the principal have the right to say things like that to students? Shouldn't he introspect himself initially to see what he can do other than judging them?

I should have post this sooner, but anyways,
Dodgers won~yeah~

Be more specific, Hong-Chih Kuo won his first game in this season. Furthermore, he hit a solo homerun! He was the first Taiwanese major league player to hit a hit a homerun, which was totally fascinating yet weird, for his wasn't the first Taiwanese major league hitter.

On the opposite coast, Wang won, too! What a lovely day today!

By the way, this was on June 13th. 13th, what a lucky number! I was also born on the 13th^^

Today, I asked my husband, if I am sometimes apathetic to him. I wanted to ask him because I found that I have been somewhat bitchy lately. Like I expected, he said yes, and gave me several reasons. First of all, I sometimes force him to do things that he doesn't want to. For instance, last week, I called him to pick me up while it was raining cats and dogs. It was hard to say no for him because he knew that I would really want to walk home with him when it rains. But he doesn't like to go out when raining, either. Moreover, I rarely am nice to him recently. I am always busy, always doing something other then communicating with him. I said things too straight forward that sometimes hurt his feelings.

My husband is such a nice man as he has always been. He wouldn't say those things to me unless I force him to. Poor guy. I'll introspect myself, and be a better person^^

I woke up at 4:30 in the morning,
suddenly felt haunted by a mixture of happiness and unhappiness,
a sensation that I wanted to escape from;
I wanted to do something that I don't know for certain.

All these days, I have been asked "How was your weekend?"
I could only answer boring things.
I am trapped, by a colossal net; I am a prey.

It is only because of the weather, I wish.

LA Dodgers lost a game the day before. I was downhearted because the first pitcher Kuo, a Taiwanese player who worked so hard to be a major-leaguer, didn’t win the game. He left the game 5-1, but the inner fielder Garciaparra, a great hitter, had two colossal errors; then the closer didn’t close the game well that cost 5 points. In the end, the Dodgers lost the game at 5-6. My heart broke when I heard that.

A coffee table facing the street.
"Hey~ Did you wait?"
you said, from behind me.
"Nope^^,
not at all"
I replied.
"Sorry for keeping you waiting."
oh, I forgot to hide
the wet circle around the iced tea.

A coffee table facing the street,
"Hey~ Did you wait?"
You said, from inside me.
"Yes,
for so long."
I replied.
"Sorry for letting you leaving"
oh, I couldn't hide
the tear drops beside the iced tea.

全人是我畢業的中學。
因為老鬍子平常是個不正經的人，他嘴裡吐出的話平常只能信三分之一，因此在起鬨取名字的時候，突然他冒出「學校叫全人，和黃武雄老師一起取的。」這麼正經的名字，還著實鬧了鬍子一番，哄著笑著說「噯，不好吧」。
但就是這個名字讓我覺的這個真的是很嚴肅的一件事，這個學校對他，對學生，對大家，都是一件嚴肅正經的事。
雖然平常還是不正經。

Give me a pair of wings,
Decorated with tear and dimness,
I want to fly.

Fly across the river,
Fly across the sea
Fly across all the sorrow,
Fly back to you.

Give me a splendid voice
that can pass across the globe
I want to sing.

Sing over the mountains,
Sing over the creek.
Sing that eases all the anguish,
so you can be calm.